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Originally Posted By: Kettricken
Originally Posted By: pigskin


The reading was the gospel story where the apostles were fishing all day and caught nothing. Jesus told them to put their nets back in the water, and although they protested that it would be fruitless, they did so and caught more fish than they could bring aboard.


What message do *you* take from this?


To Mr. Bond: that was a good one, lol.

Kettricken,

I am really trying not to figure out what she's thinking, as we all know that is pretty pointless. But the message I get is pretty much the optimistic view I wrote about in the post. That you have to trust God, and not pick and choose which elements of His Word that you are going to believe.

Even those who consider themselves religious in our culture seem to want to interpret God's view to be "whatever is convenient and fitting with our lifestyle." As long as we're not doing anything which is considered blatantly wrong/illegal, we're OK. I myself have been guilty of this thinking. But I don't think it is that simple. There is more to it than that. What I think that particular story indicates is that we should never think that we have better judgment than God does. That when we just trust Him and do what He asks, regardless of how difficult that may be, or how it may conflict with our culture, lifestyle, or what WE want, we are going to discover that He is always right.

Last edited by pigskin; 03/08/10 03:51 PM.

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Today W stopped by to drop off some stuff and I was just getting out of the shower. We were talking about what our plans were for the day. I was at the top of the stairs in a towel, and she was down at the base of the steps. I came down to give her a hug and a kiss, just to show her I was happy to see her. She wouldn't let me kiss her on the lips. I told her I loved her, she said "I know you do" then kind of coldly, "Sorree".

I didn't take offense, just said in a cheerful way, "OK, have a good day", then went up to finish getting ready as she left.

I thought she might have been thinking I was trying to seduce her, which was not the case.

Then she called me a few minutes later to say she was sorry for acting like she did. That she felt uncomfortable with me in that state of dress. I told her no problem, I didn't think anything of it and I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable, and I didn't want her to think I was trying to get her to come upstairs with me.

She said "you wouldn't approach some random girl that way, and right now I'm feeling that I am that random girl". I told her "you're right, I wouldn't, I'm sorry".

She said "I wanted to call and tell you how I felt instead of stewing on it like I usually do". I told her I appreciated her calling.

Again, I don't want to get into her mind, but it is hard to tell whether she wants to "start over" and treat us like we are in a courting stage, or if she wants to distance herself and "just be platonic friends".

I guess I'm looking for some female perspective on this.

Last edited by pigskin; 03/08/10 04:15 PM.

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Quote:
She said "you wouldn't approach some random girl that way, and right now I'm feeling that I am that random girl".


Quote:
it is hard to tell whether she wants to "start over" and treat us like we are in a courting stage, or if she wants to distance herself and "just be platonic friends".


She gave you the answer. Not the way a guy would tell you. Do you "hear" it?


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Originally Posted By: pigskin



She said "you wouldn't approach some random girl that way, and right now I'm feeling that I am that random girl".

I guess I'm looking for some female perspective on this.


She means, "I am special. I want you to treat me that way."

Greek


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Greek #1953968 03/08/10 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted By: Greek
Originally Posted By: pigskin



She said "you wouldn't approach some random girl that way, and right now I'm feeling that I am that random girl".

I guess I'm looking for some female perspective on this.


She means, "I am special. I want you to treat me that way."

Greek


Or it is not what she means.

It seems very obvious to me.

I take it as: Treat me the way you would a stranger.

If you wouldn't walk around in a towel in front of the person at the checkout counter as the gas station or the person who delivers your mail, then don't do it to her.

If she wanted you to treat her special or as a husband, she wouldn't mention that walking around in a towel made her uncomfortable. Didn't you do that before your marriage imploded?

She is not asking to be treated special. Don't import fake meanings into clear messages.

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Ah, but would a stranger call you back to let you know how it made them feel.


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Coach #1954001 03/08/10 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Ah, but would a stranger call you back to let you know how it made them feel.


Who cares?

It's not a debate....the poster wanted opinions, there were several offered.

Although I'm constantly amazed at someone asking for a woman's perspective and then seeing men reply. Yes, yes, men know what women want more than the women do themselves.

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Got an idea for you, pigskin...rather than asking truly random girls on this board, why not pick up the phone and say something along the lines of: "I really want to understand you better. Would you please say that bit about being a random girl differently so that I will understand? I don't want to be the cause of uncomfortable feelings for you and so understanding this incident better will help me with that."


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Originally Posted By: knittedscarff
Originally Posted By: Coach
Ah, but would a stranger call you back to let you know how it made them feel.


Who cares?

It's not a debate....the poster wanted opinions, there were several offered.

Although I'm constantly amazed at someone asking for a woman's perspective and then seeing men reply. Yes, yes, men know what women want more than the women do themselves.


Where did you read that?
Greek


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Greek #1954193 03/08/10 08:37 PM
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pigskin Offline OP
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Coach, Greek, Knittedscarf:

Thanks for the replies. I wanted an outsiders take on what happened, as my W's response was not something I'd heard from her before. But there were some subtleties in the interaction that I didn't note, so without seeing facial expressions and tone of voice it is to be expected that there would be disagreement on what it meant.

My W did give me a bit of a grin as I moved toward her, and she did not back away in disgust or anything. Her voice was not angry or irritated. When I noted she said "sorree" the misspelling was representing how it sounded, almost like her beating me to the TV remote and me saying "aw, I wanted to pick the show we watched". Not quite that trivial or teasing, but also not a "slam the door this is a non-negotiable position," either.

I know this may be making a big deal out of something that maybe was nothing. But Knittedscarf I hear what you are saying.

And Greek, that is a good suggestion. Since it was an unusual comment, I think it does warrant getting some explanation on her part.


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