Pearlharbr- I do struggle with playing the 'fix it' role. I will not pursue the MC until he initiates. I wasn't comfortable about initiating it...hence my message here. Thanks for "talking" me out of it.
did your spouse suffer withdrawal from EA/PA? My H affair is not dying a natural death...he had to make a choice and he decided to end it...but it is still an addictive relationship...and he works with her each day. To me...it seems cut and dry..You made a decision..stick to it. The OW and his R with her is an A to nowhere. He is well aware of this..but still the back and forth...it leaves my head spinning..and it makes it impossible to begin gaining any kind of trust..when he cannot even trust himself.
Lola,
You misunderstand chemical withdrawal (and affair ARE chemical addictions, once allowed to go on). The withdrawal process DOES NOT START UNTIL CONTACT IS ENDED, and I don't just mean romantic contact. ANY contact -- even NEGATIVE contact -- resets the withdrawal "clock" back to 0:00.
Once completely no-contact has been established, "hard withdrawal" usually takes 1-3 weeks. COMPLETE withdrawal usually takes 6-18 months.
Without 100% no-contact? Well, think of it like the "drip . . . drip . . . drip . . . " of an IV. Just enough of a "fix" to keep your husband addicted to her.
