feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

Luv this is the most important thing:

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY - Because you both suck at that.

When he is talking about a future move to a new job with you guys... it means he wants his family.
When he comes come early - two nights in a row... means that's where he really wants to be.
When he puts his blackberry away and tells D to put hers away... it means he wants to spend uninterrupted time with his family

When his family is busy pushing him away he is going to feel rejected and hopeless. YES, THIS IS HIS OWN DOING... I understand that. Yes, these are the consequences for his actions, I understand that too.

But if your dog chews up your slippers -- you can punish him by leaving him without food for the night. But if you carry on depriving him of food he has a choice:

(a) starve to death or (b) leave home and search in the trashcans for scraps of food.

Which choice do you think the dog is going to make?

EDIT: To be clear we're talking about an animal here not your H.

Point WELL TAKEN - I know we both suck at it and I've told Mr Luv this myself. I believe our communication is really bad. On Sat (when he thought I was coming back) he cleaned up the house and did some laundry - to me - those are actions and not words. He got credit for this.

I felt really bad (although I knew it quite possible) that he wouldn't get me anything for my birthday - not even a card - that is just plain rude. That is in the resentment box - sorry I'm human.

I only know one thing - stay consistent and that's what I'm going to be doing while I figure out my future.

Thanks so much for your input - it really helps me see outside the box.