flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

I also think you need to think long and hard about this nursing grudges thing that came up in your MC. Does your H have a lifelong list of grudges and grievances against other people too? Guess what? A subject for his IC, not necessarily only your joint MC.

MIL says that H has always held things inside and not dealt with them. He does have a history of grudges. He can still feel enraged about a university professor who had a really tough course that was almost impossible to get an "A" in (but H did get one with an extreme amount of work)...H still has revenge fantasies about that guy. The grudge issue was the thing that made me feel the most hopeless in MC, because even I realized that I could not fix that for him and I said as much.