flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

This is simply my speculation but it seems your H really doesn't have a full picture of what you do as a mom to special needs child on a daily basis. The regular care and feeding along with the homeschooling and all the diagnostic research. I know he appreciates you do take care of those things but I do wonder if he really *gets* how much work it really is as a single parent.

H has super high expectations of himself and others. He has some very impressive achievements under his belt. He is ruthlessly focused on his goals. He has little understanding or respect for the drudgery of life, how much time it takes, or how important it is. Home maintenance, connecting with his wife, getting enough sleep, turning off the computer/iPhone, goofing off, managing his stress/anger, having friendships -- those are things that he decided not to do to pursue his goals. I will never be able to be as productive as he is no matter what I do, partly because I am not willing to make the same choices as he has. He does not accept that there are 24 hours in a day. He looks terrible today and I assume that once again he is not getting enough sleep. He has some idea of all the work that I do, but he thinks I should be able to do more, more, more. The feedback that I got from the IC was that H's expectations of me and himself were unrealistic, that we were trying to do too much, and that we had to make major lifestyle changes in order to take care of ourselves and our family in a financially sustainable way.