Kat:

You are absolutley correct and this is a problem we have always had. It's been a tug-o-war for 5 years. He has been very much in his addictions and I've been a co-dependant mess. I started getting help and that's when i realized the train wreck of a marriage I was in and became a WAW a year ago this month.

As my therapy started helping my insecurity issues, I realized that I had married the wrong guy. To put this bluntly I married someone I never would have if I wasn't so insecure and lacking self esteem. BUT...I did and I do love him and I have a DD to think of. He is also of the same thinking. He realizes that his addition to attraction and "new, shiney, happy" resulted in a marriage that he really wouldn't have entered into if he had been properly medicated and had enough therapy under his belt.

WE are, however, very committed to our daughter, to each other and to this process. Being co-dependant, I have a tendancy to control things/people/situations. I wear a bracelet with the serentiy prayer on it to remind me that I really have very little control of anything outside myself. It's hard though and I work on that every day.

You are not overstepping at all. I am one of those who likes, candid, in your face feedback. Even if it hurts, even if it's not what I want to hear. Oldtimer has given it to me in spades. I know that we are all here to help each other. So, bring it on. I appreciate that fact that you are taking time out of your day to even weigh in.

gina


M 43 H 34
D 4
H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18;
*I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)