OldPilot yes it's a service type firm, servicing the corporate sector. WH provides the service and I do the business management, accounting and now also sales, since we need to drum-up more business. WH has been disenchanted with his work (life) since 2008 (MLC) and really started to slack when his affair started in April 09.
I found out about OW in September 09. Since then both of us are preoccupied with our personal troubles and the business continues to suffer. It was kind of running on it's own steam for a while, but combined with the economy the work has pretty much dried up. If something doesn't change very soon we will go under. That's why it's so frustrating, WH thinks that everything will be OK and the business will recover (he seems to have no sense of reality) It's not going to happen by itself when he spends 2 weeks out of every month away visiting OW @##$@!
We still have joint finances, checking accounts, credit cards, lines of credit... everything. So far I trust him not to abuse it, he seems to be consciences about spending. The OW pays for everything when he goes there, she even paid for Valentines dinner and for his flight ticket. It's not like him to have a woman pay for him, but then again, HE is not HIM these days.
I do all the books for business and personal, so I know what's going on. Unless he opened new credit cards and the bills are coming to his apartment. Well as I said, so far I have no reason not to trust him about that.
Last edited by Mila; 03/08/1005:13 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thanks Dudess. First of all, I'm sorry that things with your WH are not going well. I'm sure that you have been through a lot of heartache. I guess we all have to draw the line somewhere.
I still have hope that my sitch will come to happy ending. Only time will tell.
Thanks for pointing me to gucci. I've already started reading his "advice".
Last edited by Mila; 03/08/1006:43 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
confusedwife, the calendar is a good idea, I hope it helps your WH to be more involved in your kids lives, let me know how it works.
I wish mine would actually unload some of the stuff I have to do not to just be there when I'm already there... It's different to say "daughter and I will be doing something you are welcome to come" or to say "could you do this for your daughter".
Before he moved out I actually talked to him about how much is on my shoulders (work, shopping, cleaning, cooking, all household chores, taxiing daughter around, participating in her activities, all bills for the household.....) all he does is his job and he tells me "we all have our roles"
Kickme it sure is unbelievable what sometimes comes out of my MLC's mouth.
Originally Posted By: kickme
Originally Posted By: Mila
Before he moved out I actually talked to him about how much is on my shoulders (work, shopping, cleaning, cooking, all household chores, taxiing daughter around, participating in her activities, all bills for the household.....) all he does is his job and he tells me "we all have our roles"
OOOOOh. This frosts me. grrrrrrr.
Originally Posted By: kickme
Originally Posted By: Mila
You know that you need to get a grip when you start reading daily horoscopes to predict how your MLC'r will behave.
Yeah, but horoscopes make about as much sense as a MLC'r. I don't blame BS, I don't beleive in astrology, but I don't blame them either...
I was talking about me, that's what I started to do - read horoscopes to find answers ?!!!!!
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I went "dark" while WH he is visiting the OW for the week. So this week will be quiet in terms of dealing with him. What is annoying that WH just started to forward to me every single e-mail that he exchanges with our subcontractors or clients about technical aspects of jobs that I usually don't get involved in. So he bombards me with these emails just to prove to me that he is working while with her. Grrrrrr
Just another thought that I have regarding my "Options". If I walk away from the business and find a job I WILL BE THE ONE THAT HE WILL BLAME WHEN THE BUSINESS FAILS.
Now another thing that I found out; OW's company website is being "hosted" on our company's server - for free. Do I DEMAND that a) he remove it b) make OW's company pay for the service (as every other client) c) just let it be and ignore it for now.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
If you are the business manager, who would normally do the billing for some sort of service like this? I would treat it the same way you treat anyone else. IMHO.
Yes I do the actual billing but he is supposed to give me the request to invoice - with the job details. I guess it's more personal then business for me. I feel insulted that he would dare do this to me, to brings his "lover" into our company in any form. But I'm afraid that If I demand that he remove it or bill it he will feel that I'm controlling?
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
