If giving him eye contact makes him feel good, I'd continue to do it. HOwever, you are right, you need to find a way to not let his lack of eye contact spin a story in your head that it's about you. Perhaps literally write down your new attitude - that it has to do with what he is going through - and put it in your pocket. read it befor eyou see him, while he's there (but don't let him see you do it) and after he leaves. It may help in "training" yourself to respond differently. Trust yourself on this - it is about what he is going through.
Does he have any understanding or empathy for why you stay home? Does he understand your issues with your homeschooling and your procrastination? Ideally, you could have empathy for his desire for you to be "working mom" and he could have empathy for your desire to be "homeschool mom" and nobody would expect the other to change. Just to listen.
In my mind, if you really tried in MC for him to hear you and if you gave him the listen and validate stance and it is STILL an issue, then you can do no more. If you never got to that place, there's work to be done!
And you can only start with yourself. Instead of blaming yourself and feeling you have to fix yourself to please him, try just listening and validating "I could see how you might feel that way." It does help. He may follow suit.
