Sandy, I have immense respect and admiration for you and all the advice you provide to people here. Although I’m not a regular poster, I’ve been following your advice to others and many times your advice to them has saved me from making another bone headed mistake. But I think I’m at a point that I haven’t seen yet. My sitch is outlined in the link in my sig. In general, here’s where I am at and am looking for advice on next steps.
3 ES’a in the last 2 years. Last one ended after I confronted her just about a year ago. 95% sure of no EA’s since. Last conversation about our M was in September when I asked about counseling. Nothing since.
I think I’m lovingly detached and I’ve dropped the rope. I follow your list of what not to do with a WAW. Also, based on advice from Coach, Greek, Mr Bond etc, I’ve tried different things to see if something else would work. I’ve tried limited pursuing, but backed off quickly. We are good room mates, but that’s about it.
I’ve written several letters to her, none of them I have sent. Just my venting. The last one though seemed good – maybe a good one to send. It talked about my being tired. Tired of being disrespected, unappreciated, ignored and trying things with no reaction. Tired of me being the only one doing anything about our marriage. Tired of being roommates. Tired of a year of giving her time and space with no follow-up on her part to what she agreed to do.
What are your thoughts on temperature checking? I would like her to go to counseling, like she suggested. You can probably get more from the details of my sitch. I would appreciate any suggestions.
