Listen to what she has to say, if its positive stuff, then work with it... if its negative :
"I am sorry you are so upset. I am working informatlly with some family therapy now, and I am also looking for a Family Therapist in our area for me to talk to... I will leave you a busienss card once I have one. You are welcome to use it or not it's your choice"
And that's it. YOu show her YOU are working on YOU and tell her you are sorry she's upset and that's IT...
Do NOT validate her feelings in such a way that she will think you agree
If she says She' wants out, you just say I am sorry you feel that way, you don't say OK, you don't say Good for you, or anything positive to that.. its negative
The only thing you offer back from negative is that YOU are going to family therapy for some answers... you are setting an example of adult behaviuor that way...
If she talks about movign out, let her tell you how she feels, but if she wants your input, your input is to LEAVE the ROOM
Do NOT participate in any talk like that... she WANTS you to AGREE and SUPPORT her leaving? The answer is your back to her... not a WORD
Just say I am sorry you feel that way, MAYBE give her a hug, and then you walk out of the room.
She will likley chase you. Your position is the same :
When things are bad, you go to family therapy, you dont' move out, you don't leave, you don't cheat, you don't do ANYTHING destructive to your marriage.. you go to a professional and WORK on it...
It is MUCH more important that you DO this rather than lecture her on it... so YOU are doing to DO It.. to set an example for her...
I BET YOUR MARRIAGE on it that once you start going, SHE will be interested... I bet my life on it.
Ask mb28, her H didn't want to go either, but he's giong in for his second session soon... go figure eh?
Lotus...Allen did encourage OIN to listen to his wife, just not to pursue conversation. OIN's wife is on edge and the tiniest bit of pursuit will push her further away. This happened with me and my husband while we were still living together.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
