So now I'm questioning if this was a good conversation or not? Did it improve the situation or not?
This was an excellent conversation and the take away message was:
She kept telling me that she didn't want to give me any hope and that I needed to let her go.
Now the important thing is, you need to start listening to her and give her what she wants. The fact that you do not really listen to her and oblige her examplifies your selfishness. You do not care how she feels or what she desires. You are putting your wants and needs above hers. From what your woman has been telling you, I cant see her wanting any of that. But not only that, your behavior solidiflies the idea in her mind that you are needy, insecure and lack confidence in yourself.
Do you really feel that your wife is attracted to needy, insecure, unconfident men, who would beg a woman to stay or even reconsider? How could you begin to imagine your wife could find any sexual attraction in that behavior? And if she is not sexually attracted, why would she even want to reconsider? Life is good now that she is on her own and separated.
The second take away message:
Quote:
I was ok with the conversation except I was hurt by her one comment that she wants to be with someone who challenges her.
This is important. And once again she told you exactly what she wants. Are you a challenge when you beg for a second chance? NOPE.
A challenge would be a man who is unavailable, to busy to persue, confident and has several woman calling him asking him out on a date. How could your wife complete against that? That would be a challenge. Would she shave? Would she buy expensive lingerie expecting it to be ripped off? Would she make sure it was dirty, in the car, public restroom, get caught? The challenge here is obtaining something she can't have and the fantasy and desire to obtain it. It is work and the work boosts her ego.
You are not making this work for her. You are making it incredibly draining on her. Dragging her back in to spend an hour of listening to you talk about a failing relationship. YUCKY.
If you cant make this a challenge for her, then you might as well find yourself someone who finds needy, codependent men attractive. Because, sir, this has nothing to do with history or deep spiritual love. It is all about Lust. Lust for life, Lust for sex, Lust for the unobtainable.
