- When you have been cold for so long in the R, what positive can come out of similar behavior of "not being there" for her
You are not trying to offer that right now, your goal is to set an example of adult behaviour first, THEN meet her specific needs.
Right now she isn't even in a STATE to receive them.. THAT is why MWD does not reccomend pursuit.. you are PUSHING your spouse into something they are NOT ready for.
I do NOT think your spouse is ready to be treated as if your relationship is on healthy ground, its NOT.
Until she has HOPE again, and CONFIDENCE in YOU again, she is giong to be difficult and vulnerable.
I DO reccomend hearing what she has to say. Do NOT shut her out blindly.. but if she starts talking about divorce plans or separation plans... LEAVE
If she expresses sadness, or feelings of being overwhelmed and lost, offer support, sympathy, but do NOT PUSH ANY affection or warmth on her that she may feel is ANY PRESSURE
SHe's like a piece of glass right now.. you need to handle with CARE... if you apply too much pressure, she's gonna BOLT
For the last several years, you have been NOT applying ENOUGh pressure and ignored her... so she fell.. NOW, you are reversing your approach and CRUSHING her...
