Lotus. I am not suggesting all conversation is pursuit.
I ALSO do not advocate ALL of MWD's advice, I advcate SOME, and I disagree with some
The leaving the spouse ALONE and AVOIDING conversation is NOT from MWD, but it IS advice from FT science. There ARE other books out there besides MWD and they do NOT all agree with everything she says either.
I do NOT have a thread up here because my wife and I are piecing and I promised her I would NOT disclose our problems on forums... this was one thing she did NOT like me doing so I made a commitment NOT to do that... and she DOES read my posts sometimes. I am NOT going to post something that would offend her or disclose information about our marriage that she is not in agreemetn with me disclosing.
If she were having an AFFAIR right NOW, I would have NO inhibitions about it, i fully endorse EXPOSURE and that WOULD be exposure. I encourage those dealing with affairs right now to expose here and elsewhere, UNLIKE MWD who reccomends you do NOT expose...
Lotus, there are MANY on this forum who HAVE tried MWD's strategies for affairs and they do NOT work. I am reccomendign OTHER strategies from OTHER FT's.. GOOD ones... PUBLISHED ones...
Hardley, Glass, Spring, Johnson, McGraw, and others who do NOT endorse teh MWD approach letter by letter.
I do not presume to be an expert on what women want. I do NOT reccomend catering to teh whim of a WAYWARD SPOUSE who simply hurls ABUSE at their partner instead of offering something constructive.
Until HEALTHY conversation can take place, I do NOT reccomend ENGAGING in conversation.
There are MANY spouses here who start up conversation simply to BAIT A FIGHT to VALIDATE LEAVING...
Why would you reccomend these people PURSUE conversation? It's just destructive and unhealthy...
She liked talking to him because he WASNT her HUSBAND, he was NEW and MYSTERIOUS... THAT is why she talked to him, it wasn't because he's a good talker...
I do NOT expect OIN's wife to fall in love with him. I expect her to be MOTIVATED by adult behaviour enough to take PART in it and WORK with he husband again.
Being a WOMAN does NOT make you better qualified to offer advice, sorry, but we are ALL EQUALS on this forum. Being a man does NOT make me an idiot.
Catering to the WHIMS of a WAYWARD spouse just makes you ILL... it does NOT help solve anything. Their judgement is IMPAIREd enough to stray into an affair they are NOT in a place to be listened to blindly.
If they have only destructive conversation to offer, I reccomend WALKING AWAY.. YES, I SAID THAT before.. if the convo is DESTRUCTIVE.. walk away.. YOU didn't read that carefullly enough... despite you feeling mroe qualified to offer advice, you seem to have missed someting I had written several times
Destructive conversation should NOT be catered to... just LEAVE.. that's my advice.
