You are very insistent that you know how to treat a wife. But I don't see a thread anywhere where you tell us about your home life. Are you still married? Is your wife happy? How did you become an expert in human relations?
The fear of "pursuing" has grown to enormous proportions here. It used to be bringing flowers, begging and pleading. Now your definition includes any conversation with the wife at all. Don't be ridiculous!
The point has been made and bears repeating....men are not experts on what women want. Conversation is not pursuing behavior. Conversation is human interaction. And communication is the key to marriage. Yes, the reason your marriage is in trouble is because of communication failures.
Want to know what she likes about OM? She told you. He talks to her! He likes to talk to her. He listens to what she says. Is he so good at talking to his own wife at home? Probably not.
No woman ever fell in love with a man who didn't talk to her. I am a woman. I am intrinsically better qualified to talk about what a woman wants. And I can tell you that if she wants to talk to her husband, he'd better be ready to LISTEN. Not walk away!
Did not see your post before my latest post. My W never felt that she could talk to me and I usually just shut her out. She told me a few days ago that OM "was easy to talk to." In one of my past posts I had asked something along the lines of
- When you have been cold for so long in the R, what positive can come out of similar behavior of "not being there" for her
Either way I appreciate all the input and help. I am trying to create a better quality of life and in the process save my marriage.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
