Okay, my first response was flip, but I do actually have some insight/input, or maybe just opinion. I read what you said about it being an emotional crutch, or an excuse for other behaviors. I am currently experiencing something similar with my 12 year old daughter. She brings up the divorce in times of extreme stress or when she has done something wrong and been caught. She tells me she hates it and wishes it didn't happen, and hates that other kids have normal families and her's sucks. It has been three years since her dad moved out and he remarried as soon as we were divorced. I told her that I agree it sucks on some levels, but we can't change it so we need to move past it. I also wonder if it is manipulation or truly her deeper feelings. I believe that they have these fears/issues, but are also playing them up a little bit. I do know that 12 year old girls tend to be emotionally on the edge. They are changing so much physically and the hormones definitely effect the emotions. I wonder why she has abandonment issues if she has a loving father. I can see the fear that her mom will "love you more than her" and I think it ties into the hormonal 12 year old girl issue on some level. It is good that Michele told her she will be going to counseling. I am doing the same with my 12 year old, and she has had the same response. Seriously, 12 year old girls are way too much work!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
