Talia's New Home

[talia]

Journaling...

I had a "date" Sat night. I went amazingly well - we have a ton in common, hours of conversation that seem like minutes, easy conversation flow, super fun in general! He's totally my type - although he's a little shorter than I like

The problem.... It all made me realize how much I still totally love my H. UGH. Here I am on a perfectly good outing with a very nice man and I have no interest romantically at all.

I spent the entire day yesterday beating myself up for it. I understand why I feel that way - those love feelings don't just disappear. What frustrates me is that my anger for what he has done to me and for how he has treated me isn't stronger! I clearly have higher expectations for myself than I realized. Its been 6 months - shouldn't I be ready to move on now? Other than sexual attraction and and the frustration of not having those needs met, I am SOOOO not ready to move on, as I found out this weekend.

I am starting to feel like this will never get better and I'm entering the seventh level of hell...


I need to stop beating myself up for how I feel - my brain is telling me I need to be over it and my heart isn't going along for the ride...