How I could have gone back over and over and looked th other way so many times thinking he will change.
hey, just remember, that just because your H didn't change doesn't mean this can't or won't or never can happen with either him or anyone else. Just sometimes people take forever to get it, or they need a piano to fall on their head. and of course you didn't deserve that even though you made mistakes too. But just consider your experience to be a huge lesson learned, and that you can help others too perhaps to notice the signs that you missed yourself.
We must also realize that everyone has problems, just some are bigger than others, and no matter who we end up with, there will be issues, but we still have a great impact on those problems when we learn to change ourselves...it's not about letting them walk all over us, but making healthy changes and figuring out what works and what doesn't and stop doing the things that don't work. These are lessons that we need to hold on dearly for the rest of our lives so that we can have better R's with people in the future.
Quote:
if your exH ever shows up and turns around and becomes a great father, you know what, it doesn't mean you must have done everything wrong in the marriage.
what I believe, you need to look at this a completely different way. If your H turns around, it's because of what you have been doing now and what you will be doing in the future. Because right now, you are the only consistent healthy boundary he has. Everyone enables him but you. and you will be a presence in his life no matter what because of D.
I still believe you will be the one person that makes a difference in his life (if you continue to be this mentally healthier person that is) but it will be a long time when it happens.
hey, and it's okay to be lonely sometimes, that is perfectly normal. and especially if you were getting sick, it makes perfect sense. just take care of yourself as best as you can.
fyi, to prevent the flu, get as much vit D as you possibly can.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
and of course you didn't deserve that even though you made mistakes too. But just consider your experience to be a huge lesson learned, and that you can help others too perhaps to notice the signs that you missed yourself. 