OK 4luv, I really need to talk about your father, I had no idea he was an addiction counsellor.. why on EARTH would you let your dad walk OUT on him.. that is EXACTLY the authority figure your H needs right now... I kNOW Its hard for your DAD becuase its his daughter so its personal.. but guess what.. YOUR DAD has to be an ADULT and do the hard walk now too... BOTH Of them lol
Your dad needs to counsel a man who is cheating on his daughter Your H needs to turn to a man who hates him for advice
HOLY conflict BATMAN!
They BOTH need to do those things.. but they BOTH have a LOT of issues with it..
Anyhow, lets move that talk to YOUR thread
mb28, yes, its good you can interact and remain as you put it before loving detachment.. excellent phrase there
Do NOT feel sorry for him... he WANTS you to baby him.. don't.
If his phone was ringing and he was ignoring it, yes, it was her.. he would have picked up otherwise... he did NOT want you to hear hte call, so he ignore it.. it was her I am sure of it.
Let the OW keep annoying him... YOU DON'T do that.. don't offer him any EMOTION, but be there to listen like an objective family therapist would... listen, offer words of sympathy and then exit...
I imagine the OW is a mess and very uptight, as upset as he is most likley... yes, secrets are making them BOTH SICK..
You're donig well mb28, keep it up.
And yes, thank you for trying the sitter thing, do what you CAN, no one expects perfection... you don't need to be perfect, you just need to be better than OW and you will get what you want.
Keep it up... I HOPE you can SEE the constructive effect No contact and detachment is having on him yes?
He's a mess... let him drown in it.. he will BEG the FT to help him out of that and YOU will be teh answer..
