Fast track to her divorcing me

[Cautious]

Hmmm, maynard, I have to question something you said:

usually as R's end (never had a terrible break-up) there is more conversation and willingness for understanding-and it helps.

No, usually in a break-up, the "closure" conversation where understanding is accomplished doesn't happen until enough time has passed. And usually that closure convo is a lead in to a reconciliation. It's when the WAS (or g/f b/f) has had enough time to reflect and feel guilty about their actions and wants to make it right. The LBS (or g/f or b/f) doesn't get to dictate when/if the closure convo happens because they did not initiate the action of breaking up. It has to come from a place of true remorse and desire to set things right. JMO, go ahead and crucify me if you think I'm wrong.

You know what, though maynard? We ALL did stupid things in our sitch. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we? Is there truly a person on this board who never did anything wrong? You've got to stop blaming yourself or you'll never get out of depression mode. You'll only see what you did wrong and not realize that it took BOTH of you to make the mess. And for now, you're the only one cleaning it up. But if you work hard enough and she starts to see how good everything begins to look from all your hard work, she'll join in and help. Yes, HELP, because as you can see from Piecing, there's a lot more to go.

I think that avoiding talking about the R's failure is the coward's way out. The WAS can just pretend like nothing happened and they weren't responsible and all their friends and family will of course back them up and make them feel justified. The whole point of what we're doing here is to make them second guess that it was the right decision. It only takes you to do it, even when there's several people on "her" side telling her it was what was right. You just have to pull the right strings. I'm here if you need some moral support or cheerleading. And could you please direct me to your thread?