OIN. I am going to say this ONE LAST TIME and from this point I will NOT ANSWER this question again in the future :
1. YOUR WIFE is in a state of mind where ALL SHE CAN EXPRESS is a mean, cynical attitude towards everything... she's MISERABLE and when she talks, it comes OUT.. do NOT EXPECT ANYTHING USEFUL to be said by her.. she is TRYING to DRIVE you AWAY... STOP LISTENING TO WHAT she's SAYING... you NEED to HEAR me.. when you reply, I want you to TYPE OUT what i wrote here so I can see you heard this.. IGNORE what she's SAYING, its NOT HELPFUL to focus on that.
2. How do you tell her you want your marriage? You don't tell her, you SHOW her... you SHOW her by acting like a man, not a love struck teenager or pushy caveman... you show her what a REAL ADULT acts like... THAT shows her you want your marriage
What you did this morning was PURSUIT... You couldn't wait for HER to bring the "We need to talk" up, you went AFTER her ... AGAIN... you need to LEAVE her ALONE and STOP PURSUING her.
The way you win back a wayward spuose is by ACTING MATURE ... NOT by chasing her around like a puppy dog... which is wha tyou are doing.
"I would feel more comfortable if she just spoke to me and tell me her feelings but right now they seem to be "I'm leaving still."
Guess what? She IS telling you how she feels... what YOU want is to hear her tell you that SHE feels the way YOU feel... well, she DOESN'T feel how you feel.. you need to get over it.
She's miserable, STOP pursuing her to tell you otherwise... you seem to think if you keep CHASING her that eventually her feelings will be DIFFERENT - They WON'T
YOu can't CHANGE her feelings by CHASING her.. YOU need to change who YOU are to change her.
And you haven't changed, your PURSUIT is just control... you will NTO give her any PEACE.. leave her ALONE
Keep the OM away from her, but leave HER ALONE.. I will write this again.. LEAVE HER ALONE OR YOU WILL DRIVE HER RIGHT OUT THE DAMN DOOR and it will be YOUR FAULT... you CAN save this.. you have her LIVING wiht you, that is a HUGE advantage many on this forum do NOT have.. some have thier spouse in a diffrent STATE for god sakes.. she's in your HOME, sleeping in YOUR BED.. this is a WALK in the PARK.. and you are BLOWING IT
LEAVE HER ALONE
LEAVE HER ALONE
LEAVE HER ALONE
I can't say that ENOUGH... STOP PURSUING HER
YOu need to get to work on finding a VERY GOOD family therapist and acting like a parent... I know ou don't have kids, but you can act like a parent... keep your home clean, orderly, SAFE... keep the yard tidy... save money for a rainy day... get fresh groceries etc ... you likley do some of this already but I am sure there is more you can do to show her you are an adult.
You cannot TALK her BACK.. you need to ACT like an ADULT to CONVINCE her to STAY
Let me say that again :
You cannot TALK her BACK.. you need to ACT like an ADULT to CONVINCE her to STAY
GOT IT?
I am really upset that you went after her like that this mornign, I know why you did it, she made you anxious by how she said things yesterday.. but YOU need to LEAVE her ALONE..
Your probelm is you PANIC and when you PANIC, you PURSUE...
KNOCK IT OFF Or you are going to LOSE HER
In Panic now? Good, LEAVE HER ALONE - go work on yourSELF... YOu need to grow, read, learn, and be a better man or you will NEVER bring her back to you.. period.
