All good stuff really. mb28 I think you are wearing him down... the really sad part is he doen'st have to feel this miserable... I know this may be presumptuous, but your posts read as if you feel better than HE does right now...
This IS a good sign, it means your protection phase IS helping you to relax and you left the drama behind... The drama that's making him quite ill right now clearly.
I am suspecting when he calls you its a reaction to some fight he has had with OW pressuring him to leave. He wants YOU to cut the cord and file... all YOU have to do is keep telling him you want your marriage, and you want him to protect his family, and that the work IS do-able to reconcile.
The darn fool doesn't have to be as miserable as he is... its just silly...
Try not to validate overmuch becuase none of what he says is constructive, if you put anything on it that he can use to JUSTIFY filing for an affair he will do it.
He's fishing for an excuse to file, all of the excuses he gives there ... he wants YOU to AGREE with him... THEn he can file... so you want to be VERY careful you don't say or indicate anything that suggests you agree with him OK? Be VERY careful... don't ARGUE, but don't agree... just let him talk and ya, say "i'm sorry you feel this way" or something to that effect... maybe say "people feel good about things sometimes and other times when things are bad they dno't have that confidence as much... I am not gonig to do anything permanent or drastic that will HURT OUR CHIDLREN while I feel sad, and I don't think you should either... we just need to work together again with a good therapist... once we are on the right track again we will feel much better I am positive of it"
hmm... I don't like that, it sounds like pursuit, but give him SOME indication of a constructive solution to how he's feeling.. he feels this way but he isn't looking to anything useful like FT... I just can't find the right wording to POINT him there without sounding controlling or like I am in pursuit. :P
