By the way..."interesting that he was early and was sensitive about S and he made effort to have conversation and referenced our history together. But he is still with c*&^face" (Shrug!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
guess I got my wish- WH texted to say he will rest so that he can be in top shape tomorrow and the rest of the week. He asked about S. I replied "he slept great! I understand!"
then he asked about S' cold and cough I replied "it seems like the same"
then he said "well at least he is sleeping well most of the time- give him a kiss for me" I SHOULD have said "I will!" BUT I added TLC- "I will! Rest up so you can see him soon and take your pain meds bc pain is exhausting and stressful for your body(TRUST ME I KNOW!)
That last comment is because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis but have also given birth, lol! I wonder if he might take the other meaning behind that- emotional pain! But that is not what I meant although it is true.
Oh yeah yesterday I sent him with some medicine (won't say because it is TMI). I actually think he will use it so OW might see it! I remember when OW befriended WH she sent him some prescription codeine cough medicine and I was VERY OFFENDED- territorial! It was a BLOOD RED FLAG!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
text tonight from H: How's S doing? I rested all day although it's hard for me to do. I feel less sore now. I sure miss that little boy!
Me: He's good! He misses his daddy too! Glad you're less sore.
H: you guys have a good night!
Me: thanks- you too!
I wanted to say a lot more but didn't..I know I said too much. Will get better at this.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
keep it up. Even though your husband seems like he is trying to be a good father; however, he would be an even better father once he is a good husband (same for my husband).
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
however, he would be an even better father once he is a good husband (same for my husband).
completely! I have a lot I want to tell him one day if he will let me vent!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
For me to R, I expect for my WH to: -get a job transfer (works with OW)
-go to IC and FT (thanks Allen!)
-LISTEN to me express all the damage and pain he caused (Yep, you gotta hear it) and REPEAT BACK what I said
-be extremely transparent w/ cell phones, bills, email, daily schedules and tell me when OW will contact him (because the OPs always resurface)
-tell me what the hell he was thinking and answer any question I have, agree to talk to me about the A every day and for as long as I need (NOT SAY "GET OVER IT")and not get angry when I want to talk about it
-agree to the same boundaries about friends of the opposite sex (like don't have any unless they are part of a married couple and we see them together -avoid slippery slopes) I am confused about what to do with the male friends I have made here on DB though!
-tell me all of the things he cherishes in me- why does he want to be married to me?
-agree that both of us will express whenever we are upset with the other person and tell them what we need from them
-understand that I will be jealous, paranoid and cry a lot for awhile until we get through this and he needs to be patient and not mad when I do
On my part, I will promise to not act like I am better than him or that I could never have an affair (because I believe we are all vulnerable but need to have clear boundaries and choose to commit), and not to bring up the fact that he had the A every time we argue about something, and promise to open my heart to trust him again and forgive him as long as he does the above.
Last edited by newmama; 03/08/1006:41 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
don't get excited- WH hasn't said anything about wanting to R but I have never posted what my conditions for R would be.
I also want him to swear to never say "Shooowee!" when S has a poopy diaper and not to say "You're all right!" when S gets upset because OW always says those things and I hear him say them over here when he is with S. (I remember her saying those things in summer 08 and they bugged me then!) lol!
So eliminate any trigger I ask him to!
Last edited by newmama; 03/08/1006:45 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
