flowmom | need to commit to myself

[HeartsBlessing]

Hello Flowmom,
I locked my Q & A thread today, because it had over 100 posts;(do not know if I will put another up just yet).
I relocated your posts in the Q&A(navel gazing?)and came to find you and see how you are.

I'd like to hang out with you for awhile if I may. My time is limited but I'll get on when I can; as I'm out on the road once again.

I read your thread through; and see you're beginning the journey within, all the "rambling" you do is part of that journey.

I do not know what I can do to help, but I can hug you:

(((((((((((((Flowmom)))))))))))))))))

and I can continue to pray for you. I was unsure how long you'd been in this, and I see you've been in this two months.

This is still early days, and so much is still confusing to you; and that's totally understandable.

You're on the right track, considering the time you've spent in this so far, and your friends are giving you great advice.

You're doing fine, considering the place you're in at this point in time.
Remember to be kind to yourself, taking care of yourself and the children.
And please, don't be so hard on yourself, FM, this is not your fault. It is seen down the road, that things could have been said, and they weren't.

Please forgive me if I'm stepping over my bounds here:

Your husband could have just opened his mouth, and he didn't.
I've never understood why it happens this way; could have saved many families alot of trouble if something just had been said about having trouble with this, that or the other...and everything could have been worked out.

But, no, this choice was made, and it was a wrong one in my book.
My husband did the SAME thing at the time he was facing his demons; he could have said something, done something to get my attention, but he didn't. And it seemed at the time, that I had to live with the choices he made....when in reality; as I saw later, HE had to live with those, I didn't. That understanding comes when you separate yourself from the situation.
I was unable to do that for several months after the bomb.

I can relate to where you are; I still remember those days.

I can tell you this; you're farther along than I was at two months after the bomb dropped, and that's a testament to the amazing strength you've shown thus far.

You're going to be fine, even though you cannot see it right now; but you will, I promise you will.

Happy Belated Birthday, FM!