Is this your main thread now? I locked my question thread today because it had over 100 posts, do not know if I will put up another one just yet. But, I'm still here, in and around.
If you don't mind my company from time to time, I'd like to hang out here with you for awhile.
I'm a trucker, so I don't get on here much, time is something I don't have alot of, but I'd like to continue to help you if I may.
You seem to be at the understanding that your journey is yours as an individual, and while I might answer many questions about many different things, I cannot guarantee that the marriage will come back together; that decision is your MLC'er/WAS', and though you may want it, he may not. I, too, had to face this same issue while within, and reach a point that I would be ok with it; regardless of what happened. Some of my answers will be based on experience; others, well, read on below.
Warning: there might be some hijacks from time to time, but I think you'll learn from those, too. Or, since I said that, there might NOT be ANY, LOL! And that would be all right, too.
I did answer the last question you posted in my thread before I locked it up, and do understand being a "Curious George".
I was the SAME way, if this helps you any at all, learned a lot of stuff that didn't apply to my situation, but it was useful for others in helping them to understand what was going on.
A lot of people don't understand where most of my answers come from; I researched heavily on both sides of MLC years ago when I was here before; I had a heavy need to understand, and that need was mostly satisfied within the research.
I fully understood that not EVERYTHING applied to my situation, but learned enough to help others understand. There are still things I never faced within this that I still got answers for, and I share those answers.
There are still things to this day that I NEVER gained understanding for, and I accept those as things I would NEVER understand, and got on with my life.....the complicated stuff I leave to the Lord, but the biggest question I never had answered was "Why/how could/did he even do all these things to me, MLC or not?"
The only partial understanding I even got out of it was this: Each person has the capacity to do these same things to others, but the choice is made NOT to...so I guess my question could be revised to read "Why/how did/could he choose to do these things to me MLC or not?"
It was NEVER answered, and given time, I accepted that I would never know...and some things are best left unknown.
I gained MORE understanding when I went through the tunnel, also gaining a good idea of the thought processes, or lack of, because I DO remember my thoughts during that time... they were really confusing, and I was tempted heavily during that time in many different ways; I just never acted on many of the ones I encountered.
I also ask the Lord for help in answering some questions; and for insight to help someone better understand the answer they are getting from me.
That's the "help" I'm always referring to.
I am Christian, but not "religious" in any sense, I don't judge, I simply call it as I see it.
I'm not out to try to hurt anyone, and I won't poke fun at or even downplay anyone's hurt; I was there and still understand it, as I've never forgotten that place I came from so many years ago.
I may have forgotten a great deal, but I've NEVER forgotten how much it truly hurts to be in this place, although I no longer feel the pain myself.
Hope things are going ok for you at this point.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
