Fast track to her divorcing me

[Cautious]

It's possible she changed back to her deceased husband's name because she can remember him fondly now (same reason why people go back to their ex's in the first place, enough distance makes them sentimental and miss them). So those good memories seem much more inviting when she still has fresh "bad" memories of you. And maybe it's a little bit of spite, which is good because it shows that she's just as hurt over this as you are, otherwise she wouldn't be trying so hard to hurt you. It's all about revenge.

As far as the honesty goes, your intuition is probably correct. Some part of her probably doesn't want to hurt you, so she is probably keeping her feelings to herself so not to upset you, even when you say you can take it. She simply can't take seeing you hurt. Or all those feelings are so confusing to her that she can't make sense of them in order to put them in words for you.

Either way, I strongly feel that there is SOMETHING there. It's up to you whether or not you nurture those feelings or crush them back down.