Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

Thank you mb28 for your best wishes. I see in your thread that your H is responding to your DB efforts. I wish you the best also.

Allen, I agree with you about H being in an EA with OW before he left. That statement brought back memories of last year when H was having parties promoting his company. OW was his secretary and also one of the group of ladies that H and other guys in the company auditioned to work the crowd at the parties, sort of like models for his entertainment label. I remember seeing pictures of H and OW together at the parties. They had these "sheepish" looks on their faces, if that makes any sense. The pictures that H took of OW outnumbered the pictures of the other girls. Even in pictures when H and OW were not the subject of the shot, I could see them in the background of the picture and they were almost always together. These picture were posted on his entertainment website. It did seem like he was infatuated with her. H had a previous case of infatuation/EA with another woman. This happened after we had been married for 2 years.

You are right about me having peace of mind with him not being here and me having to deal with this affair in my home. When H dropped his bomb on me before he left, he turned into a stranger, like he never knew me. I was so hurt and devastated that I didn't eat for three days afterward and of course I made all of the classic DB mistakes. The kids and I do miss him though.

I became aware of H's affair from looking at his new website for his clothing line. H had requested that I take some pictures of our kids modeling the clothes from his line that he sent through mail to me and I obliged. He then posted these pictures on his website and when I visited the site for the first time to view the kids pics is when I saw OW picture as co-owner and began to question him about her. H knew that I would see her picture and question and I guess that was his way of exposing his affair to me. I asked him what was going on between them. He said they were good friends who enjoyed going out and having fun with each other, blah, blah, blah. Once I started asking him the serious questions like do you love her, is this what you want? etc, he started to get an attitude and angry like I was pressuring him and started answering "yeah, if you say so. Like I was backing him into a corner or something. After so many questions, he loudly stated that he didn't know what he wanted and I then told him that I would not mention her again. I don't know if this shows where his commitment level is, or is there something else that I should be asking him? Right now, I don't think he is thinking about commitment when it comes to me and him.

H claims that he is looking for work. I don't know how much luck he is going to have in this economy especially with just a high school diploma but who knows. I think he will try to find any type of work to keep from coming back here. OW is 24 years old and she may tire of H eventually. Then maybe he will wake up and realize what he has done to our family.