I would give him NC/Silent treatment until he addresses the infidelity with a FT... he wants to pretend it didn't HAPPEN.
This is soooooo important that he own up to it because you don't want a false reconciliation.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004