All, I was in a very bad place yesterday. I was hurt, sad, crying, angry, felt like giving up on everything (still do in many cases). Thank you for all your kind and encouraging get off my butt words". My H's issues are almost more than I can take and absolutely deplore his tone with my (even when I have not even talked to him). This constant focus on D by my H tells and convinces more and more that the D is just an escape and will NEVER resolved his true issues.
I removed myself from my home yesterday and spent the night out after calling on two friends - even though we had grown distant, we never skipped a beat. They were great and just spent time talking about old times. I got up and went to church. I was somewhat inspired, but I still lack confidence that my H will come around. So I am realistically in dispair and pain. I have chosen to write a single letter and send to my H, SILs, BILS, Mother, Sisters, Father, and very very close friends. I have re-read it 10 times. I am sealing in an envelope to be opened at a later date.
UPDATE: it doesn't appear that the H came by the house while I have been away yesterday or doing the day today. All of the documents he said I stole is in another drawer and let me tell you,I have always had to go behind him to find things he has mislocated.
One thing I now completely is that I want my H only if he comes out of this cloud of aliens anew.
I know I must continue my positive changes for myself, but my MCLer H will hopefully seek at some point therapy. Their has been much confusion caused by the H's odd behaviors.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
