Fast track to her divorcing me

[g450]

Sorry Cautious but I think you are reading me all wrong.

Here is where I am coming from.

I know I wasnt perfect and I know she wasnt either. That's a given. But neither one of us were really that bad towards each other that I could see. Never really had a bad fight.

Yes I do have a bit of resentment and even a little anger but my love for her is stronger than that. Doesnt matter anyway since I have not shown her my resentment and anger. If she knows I have it then it's not because of something I have done to her. Even now I love her too much to hurt her. And that is a fact.

I guess where most of my resentment came from is in the fact that I put up with her faults because I loved her and it was my way of showing her I loved her. I was still happily married over all. I was telling her "I accept your flaws and all". She really didnt address me about what was making her unhappy and what I resent is that she did not love me enough to stick it out with me or let me know there was even a problem. She just woke up one day and bailed.

Im sorry. But if I have a problem with a loved one or anybody for that matter, I owe it too them to let them know. That is how I feel about it. She never gave me that and never gave me a chance. And yes I may have been blind but as the typical D.A.M. that I am I speak in direct language and too the point. If she gave me a clue that our marriage was in trouble I would have done what was needed to save it. All she had to do was say "we are in trouble" and I would have moved heaven and earth to fix things. She has even admitted that "its not you, its me".

But even telling me the problem may not have worked sadly as after speaking to her after the divorce I have come to the conclusion that she may never have love me to begin with.

She may have been enfatuated for two years and then found herself married to me and with child when the love potion wore off. She decided to stick it out for her child for the next 20 years and to never tell me how she really felt. I now see this as a real possibility and this may explain why she changed her name back to her first (deceased) husbands. That is the only thing that would make sense of the name change after the divorce. What else can it be? You tell me because she refuses to.

He was her first love and she may never have loved me so she may want to be burried next to him some day. It may have taken this long for her to finally be honest with herself and with me. But I am still speculating. I really have no clue what's upstairs since she refuses to tell me how she really feels even now. I have literally begged her for some honesty so that I could get closure but even now she wants me to suffer with these unanswered questions that I have. I told her I wanted to hear the truth no matter how painful and I could take it. I got silence from her.

But what's the point. I am opening my wound here now for no reason. Honestly, we are divorced. All I can do is GAL for myself. Whether she sees this or another woman will appreciate the improved g450 more is up in the air. I love her and always will but I can also love another just as much. But I will not put my life on hold for her. She said she has her mind made up.

So either way I try to look towards a brighter future for what's left of my life. And apply all I have learned to my next relationship with whoever that may be. She knows I love her, she knows I am impoving and she knows where I live. It's all up to her. But if the right woman comes along I will not hesitate. And I did mean what I said about my X-Wife. I want her to be happy no matter what she does. It's called unconditional love. I wish her the best. And this is why I want to see her improve herself and face whatever demons she is dealing with. Life is too short.

For me, anything is possible now and that in itself is an exciting prospect. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Im still running towards it.