My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

D14's 8th grade graduation is coming up on June 1. It will be a ~2 hour Mass (with awards, etc.) followed by a dinner for parents and/or parents' significant others. I've been dreading this for months; I will be facing all my demons at once. xH, OW, xH's family (who aren't in contact), and parish/school staff (many of whom aren't speaking to me either--I used to work there and was sabotaged and malicious-rumored out of my ministry position). I'm inviting her godparents (one is a priest, who will likely concelebrate the mass, which will be very cool for D14), my in-town cousin, and perhaps a friend or two.

I was thinking--since D14 has had a really awful past 2 years at school with lots of bullying and even a teacher who intentionally excluded her from activities, it might be best to skip the dinner (I just cannot imagine how awkward it would be for everyone to sit at a table with xH and OW) and let her aunts/uncles/grandparents/cousins take D14 out to celebrate. She and I can celebrate a day earlier or later. xH seems agreeable to this--well, as usual all I got was "ok"--and it would save me, D14, and lots of other people a lot of stress. I haven't felt welcome at the parish in 2 years, so the dinner would be a stomach-in-knots affair even without xH and OW.

Interesting twist--my very good friend from Texas will be visiting during that time. I initially invited him to graduation, then thought better of it because--well, how awkward would that be?! I won't be at my best, by any means. He offered to "make himself scarce for a couple of hours" and we can meet up after graduation (and he can help me put myself back together, likely).

I sure hope that by the time high school graduation rolls around things will be less awkward and painful; I really anticipated things being different 2 years out, but it's still very uncomfortable. But I'm thinking I've probably got a decent plan worked out here. Not martyring at all about not joining the group for dinner celebration, because we'll have our own--and she loves her family and deserves to celebrate with them with a minimum of stress on her special day. She won't like it if OW is there, but her presence will be diluted by cousins and family so it will be ok.