1. find hope for his marriage if he hasn't got that, nothing else will move him forward 2. Then he needs to OWN his behaviour, he needs to list the DAMAGE he's done 3. Then he needs to do the work to make AMENDS. This is where he ENDS the affair. This is where your list comes in.
I do NOT think he should be doing ANYTHING with his wife until he's COMPLETED step 2. Until he acknowledges ALL the damage he's done and owned it, he gets nothing from you.
I do NOT think he should be offering to just re-commit, he needs to OWN the DAMAGE before committing, otherwise he is just asking for a free pass to come home no questions asked...
Woudl either you mb28 or you 4luv accept those terms?
If NOT, then you don't accept an offer to recommit.
When DO you accept an offer to recommit?
When he's done the WORK to EARN his marriage back.
What work does he need to do?
THAT my dear ladies, is what YOU two need to outline.
Note also... HE will be drafting a list for YOU as well.
BOTH of you will hand your lists to the FT, the FT will work with you to GUIDE you to doing this work during the week and the FT will ask your SPOUSE how successful the work efforts have been.. BOTH of you have work to do...
But he won't even take OWNERSHIP of DAMAGE yet...
If you want to give him a free pass to come back, that's your choice, but I don't reccomend it.
