So its been a few months since I last wrote so here goes.
Have gone out to eat a few times with X. X has (or was) doing all the pursuing like I have read and been told on here to let her do, although this is how it had always been. Then X would write about "I wanted to talk to you about something I’ve been feeling… it doesn’t really feel like you want to work towards us at all. I wonder if we can be best friends as well? I need a partner that will be my best friend as well as my significant other. I know communicating is not a strong factor but it just feels like you don’t really care right now. I want someone who needs and wants me. I don’t think you do." That was like a week and a half after Xmas and my mirror still wasnt fixed.
Then 10 days later X wrote
"“you can never start over but you can always start from here”
"I hope and pray that one day our kids will have one home again. I hope you and I cannot only live as husband and wife but be best friends and enjoy what is left of our lives together. I know this will take a lot of time if it does happen, but it is my long term goal. (not TOO long- I want D to still be a kids ;-))"
We were suppose to do more and something just didnt seem right and that is why I right today. X has back off a lot, we talked about getting together and talking but that never happened. X did mention that I should write to her my feelings but I never did, figure I should talk in person.
One weekend we had an awards banquet and I went out with my friend to it and planned on going home afterwards, and I had the kids. Well they wanted to go to bar after that, and all my newphews and nieces were over staying at my parents so they had the kids covered so I went there. I am there talking to this guy I went to school with, saying that X and a couple of friends were on the way there. I said, "ya X and I talk, that would be cool to hang out with her". Well her friends showed up, which I were friends with them before I met X, so I hung out with them all night.
Well, one of the friends said she was going to call X and then told me it went straight to her voicemail. I texted X to see if she was still up and about, but no answer. Us three went to another bar, then out to breakfast, then I went home to my kids and got up when they did. So X and I were to go out to dinner later in the week. The day of X flips out thru emails with me cause she was mad that I went out to breakfast with "her" friends. X said forget dinner, blah blah blah. I explained that that friend and her husband was just with X last weekend, that I didnt know you werent friends anymore, and that she tried calling you (but obviously lied) and I tried to text you that night. Long story short, we ended up at dinner that night, then to grocery store for a few items, picked up kids from her moms, and took them all to her house.
I cant remember if we went out to dinner anymore after that, I know one night after gymnastics we did and service was horrible and wanted X to get in managers a$$ but she was polite about it. I know X tried to get me to come over on V-day, to watch Daytona 500 race with my kids and her, but I wanted to watch with my friends, not 3 people that really werent into it. Oh and day before X tried to get me to go to a mutual friends sons birthday party, but I kept telling her it would be weird. I explained it would be weird because we have barely hung out together, let alone around friends. So I dont think X liked all that rejection that weekend.
So now in the past couple of weeks, that friend X doesnt like got added to my facebook. X has been flipping out assuming things about this friend and I had to tell X although I really dont have to explain myself, that I havent ever touched this friend in any way shape or form, and that I havent answered any type of message or phone call from her since I saw her that night.
So one day X emails saying "Thank you for showing me how stupid I was to ever think I could trust you after you did what you did. Lol. Things happen for a reason, guess I forgot that. Since you have blocked me and are making it clear you want you and "friends" relationship to be a secret I am telling you if I find out those kids are around her- I WILL make sure I take legal action so it will not happen again"
X never said what I did, was assuming things. I found out that my friend added a couple of people cause he thought he was logged on as himself and started accepting people. I never told X that, just am letting her believe what X wants although I did say peoplle have been added that I had no clue that got added and X laughed at me.
So I replied probably how I shouldnt have had with "No THANK YOU for pushing me away before you ever reeled me in again! Whats been failed to realized is that I havent answered texts, calls, or any other messages from that person in I dont know how many years, let alone every touch her in any way shape or form, but assume what you will, threaten me too, I am not scared. Also, friends get added to my facebook that I dont personally accept, and she was one of them. Sorry for not deleting her for you yet. I have talked to other people and they have said the same thing about people being added that they havent accepted."
So the next day X says "I’m sorry. I tend to overreact when feelings are hurt. I was just hurt you blocked me after accepting her. It’s very stupid really. Truth is it has been great getting along with you and has been healthier for everyone, especially our kiddos! Your friends are your choice- regardless of how I feel."
I just left it at that. Kinda repeated myself before quoting it but thats me.
So anyways, lastnight my S is talking to my nephew about these whatever pets they have out now getting stuck in OM's D hair. I listen for a second and couldnt help myself and ask "when was this". S says "lastweek, but no you dont want to know about so and so". Cause I told him a long while ago I dont know OM and his D so dont talk about them. S tried to back peddle and I shouldnt have probed but I did, and I didnt lose sleep over it. Just confirmation of how true my X's words have been since I havent seen any action.
X wanted to "hang out soon" or something. This was a few weeks back so I say "what happened to a night out soon?" All you gotta do is ask X said thru emails. X had mentioned something about hockey game so I tried that, and got "well my mom watched the kids lastnight so I could go to a work dinner, dont think she will wont to watch them again" Thats pretty much when I said to myself, ok, just sit back and see what happens and let X see how for real she is some more.
So thats that all mumble jumble. Time to leave work and go pick up kids.
