I will get the book. I have purchased many during this short journey from Dec 2nd until now. He moved out the 12th of Dec.
The triggers would be, 'controlling'. Which I can understand no one likes to have situations or their lives controlled. I began to fall into this as a way of trying to FIX him and us...when he was 'using' or whatever.
I have learned alot in Alanon about this as well as my co dependent books. I have worked on the past 14 months. I was more so this way before he left the 1st time. He had seen many changes in me during those 2 months he had gone, it bothered him that I was OKAY without him and could manage life and the kids... he told me this later... he said he wanted what "I Had" he saw me at peace with things, etc even though he had left me. This was the strength and grace of God. I leaned on HIM then and HE helped me through that time as HE is now.... My H saw that and wanted to the same... When he came home the 1st time, we went to Church, counseled with Pastor and he was becoming a changed Man before my very eyes, but then POOF it was gone, just like that, he turned his back on wanting to attend church, counseling, etc, became very short tempered with the kids again, etc....
I continue to work on me and I know he sees the changes as he has already mentioned that, I do it for ME, not him, he knows this as well. I am not trying to WIN him back, because I know its a different show all together this time. I know he is GONE for a very long time this time, IF he ever comes back. I have Faith and the rest is in GODs hands.
Thanks for your advice. I really really appreciate it.
