My friend told me she felt like he has NOT and will NOT make an effort to be with me and that since we were NOT intimate when we spent the night together on Valentines Day that I should read all the signs that are telling me he's moved on and that it's over.
And Allen A's reply:
Quote:
7. Your friend is NOT a professional marital therapist, she's a FOOL. There is NO WAY a man is going to have sex with his unfaithful wife while he doesn't trust her. Men will NOT have sex with someone they don't TRUST. Yes, we DO have our limits.
You've actually mentioned this a few times and I've bitten my tongue and not replied. You need to get this through your head - he is NOT going to want to have sex with a spouse who decided he wasn't good enough and left him to go and hump some guy with, and I quote what you said from an earlier message, a 'hot body'. It's just not going to happen. Your obsession with being intimate with him screams to me that you really have no idea what you have done to him at all. Not a single ounce of understanding.
Drop the sex. It's not going to happen for a long LONG time. It's not an indication of anything OTHER THAN his distrust or you. Not all men are sex maniacs.
I don't apologise for this message. I have been wanting to say it for a very long time. As I said I bit my tongue.
Follow Allen A's advice COMPLETELY. Not half of it, or bits your like. ALL OF IT. You may then be on the right road.
YOU are screwing this up big time. You have a chance to fix this. I actually thing quite a good chance. Stop listening to people who THINK they what they are talking about and listen to those who DO (ie. your friend).
If my W came back and did the things you are doing, I'd be acting the same as your H. Difference is I would have told her to hit the road by now.
Sheesh!
Last edited by P17; 03/07/1009:29 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
