K, hope you are ok? Did you have that talk with H? What had upset you most about it? I'm sorry he was so uncaring and thinking of you. I hope he is being supportive about your Dad at least. PS: I am off to Malta tommorow! We couldnt get flights to Greece near here for March.. so next time Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi guys, it's been a nice weekend here at K's land. I had my bday drink last night at the jazz bar and although last night there was no live music and very few people at teh bar, we had a great time. 16 people, all very dear to me including my brother and his wife. We were talking and drinking and then when most of the peole left we started...dancing and it was great. I really enjoyed it. H was very attentive with everyone and although never kissed me or anything, he looked present. At one point I was taking pictures with my friends and he asked to have someone take a picture of us.
Earlier yesterday we had gone shopping and among aother things he took me to my fav shop and asked me to choose something as my present. Anything I liked. I didnt get anything, weirdly it felt as he was trying to make up with money and I didnt feel like getting something. When we were out, standing outside a window, he put his arm around my shoulder an dit felt so good I turned and told him "if you knew what a big difference this makes to me, you would feel stupide for not doing it more". He laughed and squeezed me.
We spent half an hour laying in bed at noon where we hugged.I asked him to join me and it was pretty funny because I said come on over here -he was watching tv in the living room, and I made stupid excuses and he kept asking what do you want until I said, "I want you to lay beside me for a a while...". He laughed again and put his arms around me.
This morning he had tow ork again and left early. It was kind of hard since we stayed out till 3 in the morning last night.
I took the kids up in the mountain where volunteers planted 15.000 trees to help the forrest come alive again after the fire last year. We planted 4 trees because it was raining and cold but we loved it!!!
I had some kind of discussion with him about him mirroring my moods. He said that it only shows how much I affect him. I told him that that doesnt sound healthy and it is very tiring, our nights and days to be ruled by my mood and not to be able to count on him to cover my back when I feel upset because of work, my dad etc. I told him I cant be feeling responsible for us 100%, 24/7. He agreed, said he realises it must be hard now that I tell him. He also said he felt/saw/lived how I have been upbeat and positive the last couple of weeks and really really felt we were progressing.
I told him I do my best although some times it is harder than others when I feel he doesnt do his part.
When he left this morning he gave me a nice, warm, long hug and kissed me. K
I highlighted my hair, I am blonder than ever now and wore a sparkly blouse when we went out, very different than what I usually do.Watched youtube to improve my smokey-eye make up and it turned out great!!
Kalni, Happy Belated Birthday! I lost track of where you were! I'm so glad that you chose to celebrate and mark your day, even if belatedly.
I'm so glad that you had a good weekend. Your H's words and actions seem so reassuring! I think it's so positive that you created an opportunity to connect physically. I wish I had done that more when H and I were living together because always moved both of us in ways that words never could (although I can't trust my past interpretations of H any more).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
