No, I'm not looking for hope really. This may sound corny - I suppose what I'm looking for is the ability to grow into this. Accept what is. Figure out what I need to do - and like Karen pointed out (and I'm paraphrasing) - have a clear head about my direction and be less wrapped up about my R with W. STBXW.
Sometimes I'm there. Sometimes I'm not. I don't believe, hope, or expect W to be there. But I think I still have some habitual thinking that she will be, that our old R is still there, just tweaked a little - and it's jarring to come up against the reality.
I'm doing OK. Yeah my "stabs of pain" aren't as intense and don't last as long. I find I have the ability to lift myself out of them a bit.
OK it's a nice day, and I'm going to go do something. See you guys -
