Hi LR!!! Sounds like all is well except for a few things which I am sure are all normal! I sure wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom but the only thing I have is that patience is still the key! Teasing is good but when it hits a little too close too home then it should be ok to say it! You are doing great! My hero!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Good job keeping the communication lines open. He needs to start hearing from you about how all this affects you and sounds like you did it with tact and grace. And humor! THe best way of all.
Maybe we all need a pony. They do sound like great AD. Seems like for exercise, distraction, GAL, or PMA they come through for you often if your sitch. Hopefully in 6 more months the ILYs will double again.
Maybe you have to 180 the ILYs. Like keep up all the positive affection but stop offering the frequent verbal assurances/ILYs yourself. Let him come forward with them without receiving them first? Then he'll need some?
I stopped doing the random ILY's when he left and definitely don't do them to get a reply like I used to before! I will say it now if says some thing sweet to me or in a thank you type way, but trying to keep it more appropriate if you get my drift.
Got a bit triggered again this morning, also stomped off a bit to hang washing on the aired, H bless came up and said hello my little baby elephant smling cos he could hear me stomping down stairs.. To complicated to explain but it's back to having no job is stopping much needed proof of changes from him I need to see and this mornings trigger was all over the word anything lol! Oh well we keep going forward that's the important thing I guess!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
You are still in a good spot, so not moving backwards is a good thing I would think...though I'm no where near your spot. Just remember how far you've come, how hard it has been for both of you to get to this point. The job stress will take its toll, so maintaining the current state for a few days is not a bad thing.
You are doing great and still give outstanding advice to the rest of us!
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Tell him no bun fights allowed during his period of unemployment. Ha. Too much idle worry time and the self esteem hit of looking for job is going to make him less able to show changes. Maybe try to think about all the places you have found patience before and see if you can revisit them for a new dose or come up with some new ones. This stuff seems like it all takes an AWFULLY long time.
Well you dealt with your trigger the best you could in the moment. You should feel proud about that. And he responded lovingly. I know that doesn't solve the issue, though. I know you wish he had more empathy for how his leaving affected you - including in the financial realm. It's a hard thing to keep inside and there's no resolving it until he can see the light so to speak.
Snuck on here quickly, sorry not been around much keep trying on my iphone but only have to hit the wrong place with my pudgey little fingers and I get it all deleted arrhhhh..
Hope you are all well?
Lifes a bit stressful at the moment as Im at home 24x7 with H and my anxiety levels arnt easy to control but Im managing, I did manage to explain something to him this morning which although nothing can be done about it at least he knows how I feel.
Anyway onwards and upwards take care all!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
