Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it. I do not know if your assessment is correct or not, but it does make a lot of sense to me.
His relationship with his first wife was a very unhealthy one where they both used drugs and only married because of his son. He has angry and bitter feelings toward his 1st ex wife.
His second wife came directly after his first and she was a little older, she has children of her own and she was NOT welcoming of his son and this caused a lot of issues with that marriage. They were together a long time but only married two years.
And then there was me.... and yes I feel that I have taken the 'brunt' of it all. With the bitterness and resentment from these other woman, to include his mother. He has admitted when we have done a couple counseling spirts that he was acting out at me because of 'triggers' that he would see me exibit that reminded him of his mother.
Their relationship has always been one where he will curse her out and hang up on her. She always called drunk and that angered him. She was married 5 times. She always had a NEW GUY in the picture and eventually his Grandma( His Moms Mom) raised him. She was too an alcoholic but was the love of HIS LIFE./... She meant everything to him and she dies about 3 years ago... This devastated him, but he seems rather numb to it after awhile. I think he never dealt with it, as he never dealt with anything else.
His Mother always made him feel like the men were more important to her and his Father just was never there. He had remarried and had three kids of his own with the new wife and those kids ( his half brothers and sisters) whom he also HATES...became his Dads life. He always felt like he wasnt good enough and felt abandoned. He basically became THIS MAN on his own..
I am curious, when you made your assessment, do you think he has left me to find a NEW WIFE versus being in midlife crisis? I thought for sure he was in replay, given leaving me 14 months ago and moving in with that woman, cycling ( which was his love for years) re-doing that old life so to speak... Then coming back after 2 months and realizing he loved me. Then leaving again in Dec, new friends, looking up old friends from 10 years ago and wanting to hang out with them again, new music, new hair style change, hallow eyes,panic attacks, mood swings by the hour, etc.....
I look forward to your feedback. I know I can do nothing for him, but have compassion and be kind. I know this is HIS ISSUE and I have come to a place that I would MUCH rather see him GET WELL inside ( as he has been sick and hurting our entire marriage) than I would him be MINE again.... I want for him so badly to have peace.
