You really must stop this. Being hurt and angry is one thing. Behaving in a vindictive and reckless way is something different.
Yes, your ex chose to leave. Yes, it is very painful. Yes, it is life altering. The thing you constantly seem to gloss over is the fact you do have a choice on how you react to all of this.
I know...I hope I accepted that myself earlier today. See below.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
You act horrible then you become angry when your EX refuses to engage with you. If the tables were turned and you sat in a parenting glass with somebody that mumbled and grumbled under their breath as you said you did, would you be keen on spending additional time with them?
...
It is crystal clear why your EX avoids you like the plague.
Probably not. I guess I'm just having trouble getting over the fact that she's probably gonna be getting away scot-free after what she did to me. It's like someone committing a crime but being set free due to a technicality. In this case the technicality is that if one person wants out of the relationship, its over.
And while I still do have feelings for her, at the same time I still am angry with myself for having ever met her. Had it not been for her I could have met someone else who wouldnt bail on me when times were tough...or I could have gone somewhere and found a great high paying job where I was a great success. Instead I'm stuck here, alone, in a poor job market, with a child who's gonna have a lot of issues to deal with growing up because her mom and dad couldnt work things out.
I was raised with family values...to do unto others...to treat people, women in particular, with respect, to put your child first above all else...to do things around the house for the person you love instead of being a typical man who drinks beer and watches football on the couch all the time...and what did it get me? I was a nice guy...who stuck it out when times got tough...and I still ended up losing. How is that fair...how is that right?
That right there is why I'm acting the way I am now...because everything I came to believe in...that doing the right thing and doing right by people will make you come out on top in the end...got turned upside down when she left.
Originally Posted By: crushed_v95
With all the women in the world, you are still pining away for this trashy little skank and angry about her middle-age boytoy. You're also indulging in dirty tricks... stooping to her level in other words.
Easy there crushed. As much as I'm hurting and hate my ex for what she did, I still have feelings for her(God only knows why). So I know you mean well...but I wouldnt say shes a trashy skank or really want anyone else saying that either. And yeah I am stooping to her level...my parents have brought that up many times when they've begged me to not say anything about the taxes. They dont know anything about the WIC reporting...but I'm sure if I tell them they wont be happy.
Originally Posted By: crushed_v95
All this has nothing to do with the three year old little girl who depends upon her dad to set an example of high-minded stability. That should be your focus now. Forget about all these others. They matter not.
yeah. for about 30 minutes today, after more begging to no avail to try and get my ex to be reasonable so that I wouldnt do something that she'd hate me for, I was dead set on reporting my ex for the under the table tax thing. then I was talking to my friend who's divorced and taking her little girl to a museum today with her ex...and I realized that if I did report my ex, not only would she face major fines and hate me, but D3 might as well some day, and there would never be any peaceful/happy moments where my ex and I could do something like taking D3 to a museum together.
So I told my ex that I had changed my mind, that two wrongs dont make a right, and that if I were to do something that makes her unhappy n gets her in trouble not only would I look like a child but it would set a bad example for D3. I apologized, n I hope thats as far as it goes. However, if she chooses to go to her L about what I said...thinking I meant I was gonna do something illegal (since I didnt actually tell her it was about the tax thing)...and it ends up coming up in court...she and her L may end up reporting herself because if I'm testifying under oath I cant lie about what I know.
