She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

I've spent a good part of the past week thinking hard about my own failures in my marriage. They are big, as are my STBXW's.
On friday night I had planned on collecting some of my favorite pictures of our family and of W. I had pulled out my favorite picture of W from many years ago. I left these in my office. I discovered saturday morning that W had found the pictures and destroyed them all before she left town.

Last night, as STBXW came down the stairs, enraged in a way all too familiar, the death of my marriage became crystal clear. Although I'm sure I will still have doubts.

She was furious because the house had not be adequately cleaned, and she thought that D17 was being selfish by going to prom and not cleaning up the house. We HAD cleaned up the house that morning. She was basically upset about a few empty glasses on the counter and a towel in the living room.

She then launched into another tirade about...everything. I validated, then defended, then I'd had enough. I've already take the blame for so much stuff, some of it rightly so. But she is ill, and in a bi-polar rage. I finally confronted her in a way I never have. I told her that her anger was abusive to me and the kids, and that she needed to deal with her bipolar illness. I was specific, outlining the patterns she follows. She knows this, and has acknowledged it before, but I have never confronted her with it myself. She was first diagnosed bipolar when she was in her teens, then again during the first years of our marriage. Last night she said, "I was diagnosed a long time ago, and I'm don't think I'm really bi-polar."

This morning I emailed my L asking her to complete the paperwork as soon as possible.