meghunny, I did some similar things when my H and I first separated. They were mistakes for me then, too. As I mentioned in my above response to flowmom's thread, I needed to give him some time and space. He was too angry at me then to appreciate a card, a kind note, or my thoughts of love for him. He had let all his anger build up, and my words or deeds then only added fuel to the fire.
However, I'll reiterate (more for myself than anyone!) that by ignoring him, not contacting him, and acting the way I did only seemed like more of the same behavior to him. He had already felt ignored and alone, so by doing what I did, I just gave him more of the same. I had told him that I would change--promised that I could--but my actions were showing that I wasn't doing it. My rationale for my behavior seemed logical to me, and when I explained it last week, he even allowed that he could see why I would do that. However, he also told me in so many words that this backfired! It was just more of the same, and it temporarily pushed him further away.
Now that I know this, I know what's right for my situation. However, people who have pursued should do what is a 180 for them. My H wants to feel noticed, loved, and included. That's the direction I have to go, but that may not be what works for everyone.
