Husband in Crisis - what do I do?

[courageous wife]

DU-RW posted this! She has DB'd very successfully so far! We all care about you!!!

"I just want to encourage any newbies who are struggling with detachment in their sitch that what your WAS is doing, saying, not doing, not saying.... IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

So often, when we first hear the WAS script of why they are considering ending the M, in our pain and desperation to save the M, we do everything we can to "fix" ourselves and the sitch. I believe this can create a cycle of feeling like we've failed, blaming ourselves, becoming more desperate, and pushing our WAS away even more.

If your WAS has legitimate complaints about your part in the M then by all means, work on that... but do it FOR YOU! That will be good for you, no matter what happens in your M.

What your WAS is struggling with is about THEM... their issues, their struggles... not YOU. You can "fix" yourself and your part in M all you want, but unless they deal with their own issues, it will not save the M. It may help them see the potential for change, but ultimately they have to face their own stuff to make the decision.

YOU are not being rejected. I know it feels like you are. But your WAS is rejecting his/her own "perception" of you and the M.

YOU are worthy of love and faithfulness and devotion.

So, live like you are.

GAL, do 180's, make positive changes for yourself .... do it for YOU! Because you are worth it.

This is not about you.

But, you can live your life for you... so start doing it!"


Hope you are doing ok!!!