Better Days

[ClingingToHope]

Bill, I keep reading other people's other sitchs to see where I am on the road to recovery. Even though she filed in August, you two have only been apart three months physically.

At my three months I was just moving into an apartment -- and out of a friend's house -- and starting the Marriage Rebuilders classes at church.

Since there was nothing filed I was still believing that it was just a matter of time until W woke up.

We had our ONE good conversation in September, five months after I left, and for a couple of weeks I thought there was a chance. It was false hope.

I'm at 10 months now and things are starting to feel -- normal -- I guess. I mean it just happens with time.

You start developing a routine. The memories aren't as strong. The stabs of pain don't last as long. I mean something would happen with W and I'd spend my entire work day wandering around downtown thinking or talking on the phone with friends.

The house thing with us is a disaster. It's too much financially for her to maintain without every single dime she wants from me -- and even if she's successful I still doubt she'll be able to keep it long term. It's just a money pit. Too much to fix and improve every year.

Back to you. One thing I've noticed is in the success stories there are NO quick fixes. If the WAS is to change his/her mind I can' remember one where it took less than 18 months. It's usually at least two years.

So I don't know if you are looking for hope or not. If there is any it is that you are still way early in the game.