What I'm getting at is that your w needs to have it together before she can work on the M. She might never get it together while she is in the current set up. I am not offering advice. I am giving another perspective.
From what it sounds like it's not about you, it's about her. She wants a life on her own. She's not going to have it while staying in the house. Maybe let her move out and be happy? Piece it after?
I understand there are children and financial obligations involved. Both of you might not want to separate until D is final.
Would you ever consider working on M after D?
Again, not an advice, only random thoughts aloud.
I asked her to move out months ago. Seemed like the choice to me since SHE is the one who wanted the change, not me. She looked at me like I was crazy and said no way.
I think I would remain open to the possibility of reconciliation even after a D was finalized. That said, I am not waiting around on her to change her mind and see the light so to speak. I WILL move on with my life, and part of that life is finding someone new. Not b/c I have to in order to complete me, but b/c I WANT to to help enrich an already great life.
But to answer your question Wholeagain, yes, I would remain open to reconciliation up to the point there is someone new in my life. Given W's actions thus far, I doubt she will put any time into addressing her issues.
I really had not thought about a trial seperation. Mostly b/c she has never suggested it. I am not sure how I feel about that. Me waiting around on her, while she lives in MY house with our kids? Not sure I like that.
