Number 8's Revelations, Mistakes, and New Methods

[Surviving03]

well I am in your same strugge, not sure what to do for a 180... BUT you and I both know that you are going to be advised that what you said IS pursuing.... it seems so counter-intuitive... but apparently it works. For me, i know my H has mentioned to someone that he just wants to be in love more than anything else and he just doesnt feel like he is now with me. So to me, I think OK! I just gotta show him how in love we can be and how we were! my H typically LOVES little trinkets of my my affection... so at first when he dropped the bomb, thats what I did... like most people... tried to profess my love for him... I even sent him an slide show that i made filled with nothing but pictures of us and i used lines from the poem he wrote for me when he proposed.... now, he did write me back and say thank you for that, it was really sweet...so i thought, SCORE!! but... things still went majorly downhill.... I also thought, ok let me just be honest with him and tell him all the things i agree with about what i know he didnt like about our M and I will tell him all things things i didnt like... and just be honest and he will see that I take this M seriously and I do care and I want to be happy just as much as he does..... still, did not get the affect that I thought..... so, as weird as it seems... there MUST be truth in the idea that we should not pursue at all... there is some psychology behind this and since we see that what we thought we should do is not working... we gotta try these things... I think i will be able to offer more perspective after the books arrive and after my H comes home and I can see some trials and errors... maybe u will get some different advise that what i said from some more experienced veterans.