Well, we had the signing party at the mediators yesterday and the W was late and the mediator said she wanted to talk about the car. I said I knew she bought a new car but that was all. I started signing my things until the W got there and we signed everything and when that was all done the mediator asked W what she wanted to talk about.
W said that since we hadn't included the household furniture in the assets portion of the settlement that she felt that she should get some money for the furniture which she bought and loved dearly. She said that we had agreed to come back and talk about it at another time and this was that time. I disagreed and said that we had decided since it wouldn't fit in the apartment that I would keep it at the house and we could talk about it when she was in a place that could handle it.
She had just been told that she could move the big fat check from our joint account into her own account and then I took our joint credit cards and her ATM card for our joint account. She was starting to get real belligerent about me going back on my promise to talk about the furniture and I kept trying to tell her that I wasn't sure what she wanted. She tried to explain it and then I tried to explain that I was going through this process (the Bid D) because she wanted it and that she could do whatever she wanted to with the big fat check I gave her. But she still kept going back to the furniture like she wanted more money and I finally said for her to write up a proposal because I had no idea what she wanted. She did get to me and I started doing some R talk which was not good and that set her off where she started saying the usual, "I don't get you and you don't get me" just because we couldn't talk about this issue but I also said that I felt that every M could be saved and that she disagreed and I believe that love is a decision and she thinks it is a felling and she said that it is both. I also said that I was doing all of this for her and she came back with "You want this too because you don't want to be married to someone who doesn't love you completely" This line really bothers me but I tried to keep my cool. I basically held my ground and didn't give in on anything because she also tried to bring up the car that she just bought and tried to get me to offer to help pay for some of it.
When we left I saw that she debated about giving me a hug but quickly decided against it. She certainly came with an agenda and when I didn't give in to her demands she was pissed! Like I said, I backslid and I realized twenty four hours later that she was testing me like my DB Coach Chuck said she would and I think I failed the test. I believe the W went home and immediately changed her status to Single on Facebook. Whether it was because she was mad at me or not I’ll never know.
She was also nervous about FIL and GF coming to town and they did get here and we talked last night and I filled them in on everything after they said that they really didn't know much. They told me that they would stop me if I got into an area that they didn't feel they should know. I told them about the EAs (they don't like either guy and saw both of them when she would bring them around (usually unannounced)). FIL has been really telling W that her reasons for leaving me are BS as far as he is concerned and he has been trying to tell her that she is in for a rude awakening but she just gets upset and changes the subject and he can tell that doesn’t like it but he is one of those guys that just doesn’t quit. I’m not sure if this is helping or hurting my cause. I think it is hurting it but what can I do about what he says to her. It’s his daughter and he thinks he’s trying to talk some sense into her. Any thoughts?
Had a GREAT IC session today and had a few texts and phone calls from the W since yesterday morning and then she came over tonight so they could go out to dinner. She asked if I wanted to go but I declined and just kept working on my stuff. Tried to act aloof. I’ll probably see her tomorrow at church and possibly after so this Going Dark stuff is tough when the in laws are visiting and staying with me but it’s fine. W looks really good though and it is hard not to touch her or complement her but I am doing good on both fronts. I really don’t think much will change in the next 3 months and that the D will go through but I have another DB Coach session with Chuck scheduled for Monday AM.
That’s all for now,
Ken
Me48 WAW46 M24 yrs S24 D21 D19 EA disc 6/09 2nd EA Fall 09 I move out 11/12/09 W and I switch 1/14/10 D Filed 3/17/10 W moves in with OM 6/8/10 D Final 6/21/10
