Gucci covered this topic in another thread but here is a wicked post for you to digest:
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
Red flag of an affair. I have been at this for 20+ years. TEXTBOOK excuse.
Suddenly they are always "going" to their "friends" house... That is their cover. The friend is the cover for them....
That is a place to start...
We need to smoke this out. I am all for snooping to find out the truth. You have a right to know the truth. Knowing the truth will give you what you need to make correct decisions. Things will make sense more.
IF there wasn't someone else then she would be open to repairing the marriage. She would have nothing to lose. She would be glad that you are now awake.
Think of it as like this...
IF you had a job you originally liked, and then as time went on you started to see things you didn't like as much, would you quit that job if you didn't have another one lined up? If you told your boss that you were unhappy and then your boss said he didn't want to lose you and would give you a raise and make working conditions better, wouldn't that make you happy and allow you to see if he was serious?
BUT.. What if you suddenly were offered a job with another company with more pay and had it lined up BEFORE your boss knew you were unhappy so much?. Suddenly that company wanted you and was offering you the moon. On paper the job looked perfect. Suddenly the job you were in wasn't looking so good. You remember the low pay and the bad working conditions.
You decide to take the other job. You tell your present boss that you are giving your notice. He had been overbearing for many years....However you now know that you have something else lined up. You want to tell him all the things you didn't like and COULD NOT say to him before..
WHY? Because you weren't going to leave something without something else in line. Who would? Now that you have something that seems better yo know you don't have to take the boss's crap anymore. You would never have left a job before without another opportunity in hand. You may have been unhappy, but you wouldn't chance leaving not knowing where you would go or how you were going to make it. NOW if the old boss changes his tune you will hesitate. You will think.. Too little too late. Why did he wait he until I wanted out to offer this raise and better working conditions..... Suddenly he treats you better after you have given him your notice. Back and forth your mind goes to whether you are making a mistake. Do you now call the new work place and tell them you changed your mind on this GREAT opportunity? round and round your mind wanders.
This analogy is why many of us believe STRONGLY that your wife is interested in someone else. If she wasn't she would be more open and interested in staying.
She has another job offer...
IF she didn't, she would be glad that you are now offering her a raise and better working conditions.
