I tell my wife I'm not in love with her any longer. That's true. The reality is that if she began improving her behavior, and taking her position as wife and mother seriously, I might move back into the love zone. Take me seriously on this, all you left behind spouses. Do what works, not what makes you feel avenged.
Peace, CV_95
How does this make you feel avenged? Or anyone else for that matter? I don't understand this.
You also tell us that you used this statement with your wife but if she made changes you might move back into the "love zone".
Let's be honest.
You still love and care for her and you want her back. A true WAS wouldn't say "I'll consider loving you again if you shape up and improve yourself", none of the WAS's that I've heard from and read about on these forums ever say this.
Let's add another point to all of this, you told your wife this statement (ILYBNILWY) and what did she assume since she's a true WAS who really has no knowledge of divorce busting techniques and probably your existence on these forums and she assumed.... that you are seeing some other woman.
It seems to me that you have not only proven that your wife used this line on you when she was having an affair but when you used this line on her, she assumed you are now having your own affair.
Apparently that script means pretty much what we say it means, that there is another person in the picture. You saying it even though you're not seeing anyone still has your wife thinking that you are - because in her head and most everyone else's reality, that statement usually means that an affair is underway or about to happen or that your spouse is interested in someone and wants to pursue them, regardless if the affair has begun yet or not.
As for your description of the assumption of the affair being pathetic, self-serving and very convenient for the ego of the LBS, you used this script with your WAW and now she is wondering what you're up to. You started off as "crushed" which implies you were hurt and sad and suffering but you sound very confident and strong willed and ready to handle the situations before you - I wonder if any of this has to do with the fact that you served your wife a new piece of cake that you baked specifically for her and her cake eating tendencies and have her worried now.
Methinks your self-esteem seems to be a lot higher than it was when you started around here.
And for what it's worth, that's a good thing, maintain that attitude.
