Do you think OW could still be around during this time of awakening?
Yes, most definitely..it varies, though; some experience an ending of the Midlife affair, then go through the awakening experience; some are still in the affair when the awakening hits, something significant happens to make them wake up to what they are doing; and they start doing crazy stuff. It doesn't always have something to do with LBS and the family they left behind. For some, it's like they "wake up" and all of a sudden realize they are losing everything, for others they are "caught" in the Midlife affair, for still others it's the discovery of the sneaky things they've been doing that they can't deny.....and what comes about is a total confusion within; then a direction comes open for them to begin to try "fixing" things; setting things back to what they were, or so they think.
Their house of cards begins to fall apart, and the abuse they've heaped on the LBS for a time then can transfer to the OW to make her go away. At the same time, they act crazy enough that LBS begins to wonder if he/she's lost MORE of their mind.
They are "time challenged" having more or less LOST that time, and don't understand why everything has changed..Memory loss is a hallmark of this; they really DON'T remember a lot of the stuff they did..there's so much damage they don't even know where to begin to start.
And the pressure mounts, even as OW Withdrawal sets in after they get rid of her. They're on edge as never before. I'm not saying have sympathy for the crap they've gotten themselves into, but some understanding is in order here.
I had a rough time understanding it, myself; had to have it explained several times..as it was mind boggling to me.
That's why detaching, distancing and just watching the situation is important for the LBS; NO SENSE at all can be made of what's happening during this time.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
