Great stuff! I really relate to Bills' great summary. I've wondered about why MLC seems in so many ways universal(same script, similar behavior changes/mental changes in our spouses, clothing choices) and yet is such a unique journey for each.
I think its real. I think its a psychological phenomenon too broad to pinpoint with our current method of psych diagnosis.
I think conventional therapy and conventional marriage counselng is hard to reconcile with MLC, and doesn't necessarily help the marriage or the MLCer, but perhaps does help the LBS. At least in my situation.
J3B- I think electroshock therapy, although seemingly archaic, actually can help some people come out of severe depression. Much more controlled use now-a-days...
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Completely made it up.....put it does lay it out in a very understandable manner.
As far as the original aquestion....I don't think MLC will ever be diagnosed a disease. I feel that it will be treated as a behavior associated with an underlying mental disorder. Much like the sliver....there wouldn't be an infection if it wasn't for the sliver.
I think the psychological split on MLC proves that point. Some doctors don't see it...they want to discover the underlying issues because that is the truly the problem...while others see it and think the underlying issues are a cause.
Like Jack says...if it looks like a duck..so forth and so on. We just need to be like the therapist and be emotionally detached from the MLC'er.
I believe in it is real...but I didn't always believe that way...I used to think MLC was a dumb excuse for a guy to get a gf, a convertable sports car and act like an immature teenager!
Well when I saw my sane as sane can be husband "snap"...wow, what an eye opener...his was a total breakdown...emotional, financial, physical...I am now a true believe in MLC...after seeing with my own two eyes how a decent, loving, caring, rock of a father and husband just crumbled before my eyes after the "bomb" (he lost his job after 9-11) and the rest is history!
any of you ever feel that your spouse wants/wanted to go into marriage counseling only to put up a diversion... a smoke screen... to continue to cake eat?
can the desire originating from the WAS to go to MC be categorically accepted as a good thing?
No it usually can be a bad thing. But I would guess it depends on the MC. My W used the MC as a way to validate her desire to D. In order to go to most MC both parties must agree to work on the M. My W would not agree to that.
Hi Bradley, Just a few words for you to take note of. Before my Mum And Dad got engaged in the mid 50’s my Dad left the army and managed to find a job back up north where he was from. My Mum wrote him a letter and in my dad’s reply he said this amongst other things “WHAT WILL BE WILL BE.” So Brad don’t ever forget that. About 6 months later he moved down here and the rest is history.
